September 19

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HE SAID

russell's experience, strength, and hope

Step One – I don’t Got This

The phrase “you got this” pops up regularly in posts on the social media 12 step groups I visit.  It’s a cute, catchy cliché that should normally make a helpful cheer.  I thought I would eventually become immune to reading it.  Nope!  It’s got claws in me and it’s sticking around.  So, I feel the need to include it in my writing.   

“I got this” is a large part of my problem.  At step one, I finally began to accept that my attempt at managing the problem was not working.  Some of my natural instincts for security were out of proportion.  I was abusing alcohol/drugs/spouse/work/sex/etc. to anesthetize the pain of the disproportion and cope with my unreasonable expectations.  Unfortunately, I reached a place where I was unable to stop on my own power.  In step one I finally admitted that I don’t got this.  I cannot fix my own problem.  If I could “pull myself up by my bootstraps” and manage my life and my problem, I would not need the recovery program.   

Since I don’t got this, I actively practice unity with the recovery fellowship, service to my higher power and my fellow man, and I take the steps in order to bring my natural instincts back into alignment.  These actions connect me with the power that does “got this”. 

Today, I have recovered and no longer live in that horrible place that brought me to my knees.  I am a work in progress and still make mistakes.  Sometimes, I take my will back and start to think I got this, and I don’t need connection with you or with my higher power.  Eventually, I remember where to find peace of mind and plug back in to the solution.

SHE SAID

Niki's experience, strength, and hope

When Russell first ask my thoughts on the recurring phrase, “You got this.” I shared how I appreciated when people share words of encouragement.  I guess the depth of the phrase was lost on me at the moment.  After reading his thoughts, I can’t help but agree with him.  Perhaps “You got this.” is not an appropriate cheer for recovery.  Or is it?

Just like Russell, I too had to realize that I did not “got it” in my life.  When I arrived at the doorstep of recovery, my life was a miserable disaster and most of it was a result of my distorted perception that I had some sort of control.  The truth was I had NOTHING under control.  Not ONE. DAMN. THING.  

Step one teaches me that I am powerless over most things in this world and that to think otherwise is nothing short of insane.  It teaches me that my perception of control is just that, a distorted perception.  I have no more control over the world (people, places, and things) than I have over the weather.  I just need to be reminded of this regularly.  You know, through phrases like, “You got this.”

This leads to my second thoughts on what Russell shared.  The thought of “You got this.” as a recovery cheer among the ranks of recovered. I have often heard others (and maybe even participated) cheering on the newcomer using the phrase “You got this.”  When I hear it, I am immediately reminded that I am not alone.  There are hundreds, thousands, even hundreds of thousands of us who have already walked the steps of recovery and are living amazing lives as a result.  We know that you can do it too.  From my perspective today, when I hear it, I am reminded that the first word of the first step is “we” not “me”.  And with the help and hope of those who have gone before me, I can be sure I will get there too.  So maybe the recovery cheer is actually "WE got this!"


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